Daughter of No Comment -- January 1999

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In Virginia, during the first eight months of the year, over 30 women have died as a result of the criminal act called domestic violence. Is it possible that these murders are of less concern to the community because the word domestic makes them seem less important? If the domestic concept is important maybe the next word should be terrorism. Alexandria,VA a city of about 115,000 people, has reported a 25% rise in sexual assault cases and will have more than 400 rapes this year. Young women and women of all ages need to think about how to prevent this horror. Support the intervention and prevention programs in your area. Young women lacking advanced math training are less likely to take advanced computer training which has become the entry into the lucrative technological world. Janice Weinman, AAUW's executive director said, "We are concerned as we move into the 21st century, girls are not going to be prepared for the areas for which clearly there will be a need. We are seeing a new and alarming gender gap in technology." Teachers and guidance counselors can help but so can parents who need to let their daughters know that they expect them to be able to take advantage of the opportunities technology offers. The U.S. Mint announced it is taking orders for a commemorative silver dollar honoring Dolley Madison. A historical "wife of." Part of the cost will go toward preserving the Madison home and the proof copy price is $33. Glamour magazine has abandoned its monthly column on politics and women in favor of horoscopes so that " they will have more impact with coverage that's really important to readers" says new editor Bonnie Fuller who must be from another planet. Police Sgt. Michael Puetz saw a rape suspect spit on the street, grabbed a paper towel, jumped out of his car and wiped a half dollar size spit sample up thereby getting enough DNA evidence to charge Charles Peterson with two attacks. The St. Petersburg, FL Sgt said "The opportunity presented itself and I was in the right place at the right time." This quick thinking cop deserves a gold star. A study by the Graduate school of Management at the University of California found that women are better investors than men, largely because they trade less then men do and don't churn their accounts, thereby earning higher returns. Two professors examined the trading records of 35,000 customers of a large discount brokerage firm and found that, on average, men traded 45% more then women. A Bank of America poll found that 91% of women polled had no investment experience. We earn less and we live longer--go do the math. Christy Hogan, retired KY middle school counselor, says that "girls saying they had sexual intercourse before age 15 rose to 19% from 11%. We're beginning to see a few pregnant sixth-graders." Boys in the age group talk a lot about oral sex, which for them isn't sex, it's just fooling around. According to a study by Patricia and Peter Adler, "Girls derive status from success at grooming, clothes, and other appearance-related variables; their romantic success as measured through popularity and going with boys; affluence and its correlates of material possessions and leisure pursuits." They found that boys derive status and popularity from "toughness, trouble making, domination, coolness, and interpersonal bragging and sparring skills." The usual end-of-year stupid lists are coming out. Time magazine names 20 business geniuses it calls builders and titans. The token woman is Estee Lauder, the cosmetic mogul. Vanity Fair has a list it calls the top 50 leaders of the information age with 3 women on it: Number 17, Oprah Winfrey; half of number 38 is Sherry Lansing (motion picture executive); and 50th is Ann Winblad, a mega-million high-tech investor. Maybe if the girls in the paragraph above paid less attention to appearance related variables and more attention to their power and personal achievements we would have more to celebrate. Since many clergy members have been struggling with tension between a religious desire to maintain the sanctity of a marriage and personal concern for the safety of battered women, some of them are now admitting that they have done a poor job and don't know what to tell women victims. Boston Justice Ministries has launched the Safe Havens Project in an effort to train clergy to be able to respond better than to tell her to "turn the other cheek." This change is happening because women ministers are speaking from their own experience and believing the women who come to them. Also the dynamics of battering is being understood better. (It's like jeans-No Excuses) They are even coming to the point of view that the Bible doesn't condone violence, some marriages can't be repaired, and that "saving" a marriage may not be in the best interests of all the parties. Rabbi William Hamilton says "The truth is that, for too long, we, as religious institutions, have wrongly believed that holding families together was more important then the well being of individuals in those families." Yet another poll. This one on "Why Men Marry:150 Guys Reveal What Prompted Them to Pop the Question." Are you ready? 8% said so they wouldn't have to cook or clean, 12% wanted to avoid loneliness and 10% reacted to ultimatums from their girlfriends. One guy said so people wouldn't think he was gay and another wanted cheaper auto insurance. How romantic. Nelba Chavez, Ph.D. An administrator with The Substance Abuse and Mental health Services Administration says, "Substance abuse is an increasingly significant problem for women in this country, and it is a problem that is starting earlier and earlier in girls' lives. We need to be providing girls with greater support and a more empowered view of their future during their vulnerable early teen years." Currently more then 30% of all new female alcohol users are between the ages of 10 and 14. This means more unprotected sex and that means pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases including HIV. Cleveland Amory who died in October said he became a curmudgeon "because a curmudgeon is the last thing in the world that a man can be that a woman cannot be." Michele Finn whose husband was in a vegetative state and who had to fight Gov. Gilmore, Del Marshall and a host of non-involved Virginia bureaucrats and busy-body religious groups to let him die said, "I am very persistent in trying to change an injustice...." We all need a fighting spirit to win our goals. SpencerStuart, a global executive search firm, says that 32% of new women board directors come from the nonprofit world and academia while only 8% of men do. Baby, we still have a long way to go. With 50 million dollars worth of Viagra, the entire military/industrial complex would be locked, cocked and ready-to- rock. Pretty Scary...huh?" Rep. Cynthia McKinney. Dr. Diane Ruble, psychologist at New York University says that the ways girls are raised can make them more vulnerable to emotional problems. Her point is that girls, who are usually more closely watched and protected than boys, are less likely to develop independence, and with it, self-esteem. She also notes that even before puberty, girls are somewhat more vulnerable to a negative self-image that can lead to depression suggesting that hormonal changes alone cannot account for the differing way man and women process emotions. Wominvest Publishing, in Chelmsford, MA has started an investment newsletter for women called "Purse Strings." Paying yourself first still is the best way to get started. Remember, who is in charge of looking out for you? Pink business card carrying Carolyn Stradley, CEO of a paving company, got to the top by working hard and not letting her disaster filled early life get her down. While her 26 year old husband was dying, she got her GED and when she started to work she "worked a 14 hour day and cut my hair shorter then any guy so I could simply work a job site without being harassed." She called herself C. S. Stradley, and when people would call and ask for Mr. Stradley, she'd say "he's not here right now....." Her firm has won the largest Air Force contract ever awarded to a woman owned business. She's giving back now by hiring women off welfare for non-traditional jobs. Promise Keepers founder Bill McCartney said men should "tenderly and gently, take authority in their families." The Southern Baptists officially adopted an article that says "a wife is to submit graciously to the servant leadership of her husband." Patricia Ireland says, " When I started fighting for the Equal Rights Amendment women were making 59 cents for every dollar that men earned for full-time, year-around work and now we're up to 74 cents. But I don't want to wait another 25 years for my next quarter." Iowa state Rep. Minette Doderer say "I've always said I want to be in the Constitution before I die." She also said that passing the ERA is important for young girls who study the constitution and learn they are excluded. "It will be a victory because women will be recognized as full citizens." AMEN