Daughter of No Comment -- November 1998

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Daughters' work has been more difficult since the mainstream media routinely publish explicit and egregious material about the very same people daughter wishes to expose. (No pun intended) Oh well, daughter is up to the task. For example, Mike Freedman, general manager of CBS Radio News, says that his network will not use the words "oral sex" or "semen" in its reportage. It will be interesting to hear what their substitutes are. No surprise that the latest statistics show that the nations poorest group, African American women, have the highest incidence of HIV infection and that the rate was highest in the 16-18 year olds. This was a Job Corps study that included 350,000 young people and sends a loud signal that our current prevention strategy is killing us. Good news for black women is that the number of African American licensed women architects has doubled in the last 10 years. There are now 98 in what has traditionally been a white male dominated profession. As election rhetoric heats up we should be asking all candidates work/family related questions. They should be asked if they have ever had a conflict between work and family and if so, how did they resolve it. Not only do we need to vote but we need to put our issues on the front burner. A study presented at the American Psychological Association says that serious psychiatric illness, (post traumatic stress disorder) resulting from exposure to physical danger is more common among prostitutes than among troops who have weathered combat duty. This is true for male and female prostitutes, most of whom have sustained recurrent physical or sexual assaults in working hours. "Essentially we need to view prostitution itself as a traumatic stressor" says Dr. Melissa Farley. She said that in contrast to the romantic view so often presented by Hollywood "prostitution is not just a job choice." More the 90 percent of her study group said they "wanted out of that way of life." Many women in a study report that while their husbands expressed willingness to help around the house and with the children, the men rarely lifted a finger unless they were specifically asked and given detailed instructions about the task at hand. The women said they felt like jugglers between family and career. Should we celebrate this new Girl Scout badge?. Their newest badge is The Fashion Adventure Program offered by the Limited Too stores where they learn about fabrics, markdowns and store security. They get to model their favorite outfits and get 15% off coupons from the store. Peggy Charred, a consumer activist says "it's nauseating and it is pure and simply a sales pitch under the auspices of the Girl Scouts." The scouts maintain it is an attempt to freshen their image. The Fashion Adventure patch comes with an educational booklet suggesting exercises (are you ready for this?) such as hemming a pant leg and identifying parts of a shirt such as darts from yokes. Lisa Grady, a troop leader says "shopping for clothes is fairly innocuous, it isn't like cigarettes." Another troop leader, Patricia Choo said "It was really nice for me to do like a no brainier just drive the kids there." Let's just say no to the Barbie badge. More good news about girls and sports. The health benefits are well documented as are the self esteem and good body image along with less depression, higher grades, less drug use and fewer pregnancies. One survey found that 80% of key women Fortune 500 executives had, as girls, played sports and thought of themselves as "tomboys." We need to support the girls and prod the schools into providing equal opportunity for all girls to participate. Eighteen year old Ohioan, Michael Copp, pleaded not guilty to a charge of stealing his mother's credit card to pay for his girlfriend's breast enlargement surgery to the tune of $2,496. His girlfriend was not charged. Daughter wonders if her mother knows Monica's mother. In Salt Lake City, David Kingston was accused of marrying his 16-year-old niece and charged with incest. The girl told authorities she was his 15th wife. Sheriff Aaron Canard promised to crack down on people who violate the state's ban on plural marriages. A husband I know intimately thinks only one wife is a challenge. The Institute of Medicine Committee on Unintended Pregnancy has concluded that half of the 6.3 million pregnancies in the USA each year are unintended and that lack of contraceptive coverage by private insurers was one reason for this high rate. Funny how easy and fast it was to get insurance coverage for Viagra. Could this be a double standard? Congressman Helen Chenoweth (R-Idaho) hates being called congresswoman. Maybe she would rather be a retired legislator and go back home. The once mostly male world of furniture making has many new women adherents and D Wood, in the graduate program at Dartmouth, says they are changing male attitudes. She says "The men used to be reluctant to talk about emotions. Now they seem more comfortable discussing their feelings." The MacKeen Gallery in Boston had a furniture show featuring only women artists after their opening show had only men, and owner Christina Fagan realized there were enough women furniture artists to have their own show. Carey McFadden, an eighteen-year-old know it all, from Bethlehem, Pa. states "Women in general are not good at prioritizing things. They put immense effort and thought into dealing with minutiae. The reason you don't see guys carrying balloons is because it serves no purpose to do so." Daughter thinks he should go fly a kite or bring in the clowns. Flower Aviation used to be famous for its all-female refueling crews clad in hot pants or short skirts. Flirting was encouraged. Five years ago Flower replaced its refuellers with all male crews because "the sex appeal gimmick seemed out of place with the times." The pilots complained so much two young women were brought back. Manager Doug Livergood says "It does help business." Gives "fly boys" a whole new meaning. William Styron, writer and member of the mostly men, all white, and mostly a doddering group who selected Modern Libraries list of the 100 best novels written in English has said that when he saw the list he considered it weird. He was surprised there were only 8 women and he considers the list "oppressively stodgy." He also feels some who made the list are " toothless pretenders." Daughter hopes the list will find a black hole to rest in forever. When the Senate Ethics committee voted to expel Senator Bob Packwood (R, OR) three years ago he got a call from President Clinton to let him know the Prez was thinking of him. Now that Clinton is facing a similar situation Packwood, now 65 years old, is feeling a strong sense of identification with him. Packwood makes more than $800,000 a year and has stopped drinking and modified his behavior. He says of his former behavior "I didn't think of myself as having a problem with women," He has also said " I don't remember all the women I have made love to. How can I remember all the women I have kissed"? When asked about kissing his child's babysitter (one of the complainants) he said "I just didn't think about it." The "explanation" in his diary said "What I want to do is not to bed them, but excite them, take them to an intellectual Shangri-La." Daughter wonders about the language of sex or is it love. When is the act of sex sex and when is it love and who decides. Do men and women use these words differently and are they trying to fool each other or themselves. What does romance mean. If you have any insights please share them with a confused daughter. Looking for definitions of sexual relations in different dictionaries brought as many definitions as there were dictionaries. The term sexual intercourse also has no generally accepted definition so that with enough research one can find either term defined any way one needs it to be. Canadian dictionaries were no more united and wiggle room abounds. It is so hard to pin the tail on the donkey and daughter is engrossed in her research so stay tuned for the next installment. Daughter never intends puns. Ever.